Saturday, July 23, 2011

You Don't Get Points For Bravery

My first radiation treatment didn't begin until mid week on a Wednesday.  So that first week I had just three treatments, and then weekend break, before beginning again the following Monday.  Three treatments was enough to make me feel puny, but I mostly felt ok.  Tired and a little sick, but nothing very severe.

Each Monday after my treatment I see the dr (the only time I see him during this treatment) and that first Monday (following those first three treatments) the dr asked if I had taken any of the nausea medicine.  I replied that I had not, and he said great, then you won't need it.  You either feel sick or you don't, it is not cumulative.  Well, I corrected, I haven't taken any medicine for the nausea, but I do feel nauseous.  Well by all means take it, stated the dr, you don't get points for bravery.

I didn't correct him, but of course you get  points for bravery.  Either that, or you don't get points for anything.  Has the man never seen Road House ("Pain Don't Hurt")?  I'm not a tough guy, I've never been in a real fight in my life.  To quote JJ Walker on Good Times, these arms were made for lovin', not fighting.  But I still think of myself as a man, and one who knows a thing or two & lives by a certain code.  I hold doors open for ladies, return money when someone drops it, help stranded motorists push their car out of the streets (much to Julie's dismay), etc.  You get points for those things too, at least in my book you do, and my book is the one that matters to me (well Julie's book too).  So accepting cancer treatment and not needing nausea medicine built up points in my book.

But that same Monday the dr said those words to me, I started taking the medicine.  The radiation combined with the hour long bus ride out and back to the hospital is just too much for me.  I've lost some points.  I now take the medicine at least once a day, often twice (three times is the limit, every 8 hours) and it does take the edge off, although it doesn't remove the nausea all the way.

By not removing it all the way, I figure I get to keep some of those points.

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